Nothing is simple for a person suffering from dementia, and for those they love. When ordinary tasks of communication, such as using a phone, become complex, then difficult, and then impossible, isolation becomes inevitable. Helping becomes excruciating.
In these pages philosopher Douglas Groothuis offers a window into his experience of caring for his wife as a rare form of dementia ravages her once-brilliant mind and eliminates her once-stellar verbal acuity. Mixing personal narrative with spiritual insight, he captures moments of lament as well as philosophical and theological reflection. Brief interludes provide poignant pictures of life inside the Groothuis household, and we meet a parade of caregivers, including a very skilled companion dog.
Losses for both Doug and Becky come daily, and his questions for God multiply as he navigates the descending darkness. Here is a frank exploration of how one continues to find God in the twilight.
Foreword by Nicholas Wolterstorff
Introduction: Walking Through Twilight
1. Rage in a Psych Ward
2. The Year of Learning Things I Did Not Want to Know
Interlude: The Mensa Card
3. It Is Eerie
4. Giving Up
Interlude: Sunny
5. The Temptation to Hate God
6. Learning to Lament
Interlude: My Worried Ear
7. Joy in Lament
8. Moses and Our Sadness
Interlude: The Red Book
9. Lamenting in the Classroom
10. Lamenting Online
Interlude: At the Museum
11. Technology Free
12. Learning to Lie to My Wife (as Little as Possible)
Interlude: Jesus Loves Me
13. Gallows Humor
14. Dogs, Dementia, and Us
15. Miss Becky and a Way of Speaking
Interlude: Snack and Scalp
16. Words Fail Us
17. My Escape into Meaning
Interlude: Becky as My Student
18. How Is Becky?
Interlude: Resting
Conclusion: From Twilight into Darkness
Acknowledgments
Appendix: Lightening the Load
Notes
